But where do we find this love? In this world in our material consciousness we don\u2019t. And that\u2019s why there is so much anger in the home. Because when you get married\u2026 Of course marriages, you know, kind of almost obsolete, but that is how it\u2019s supposed to be\u2026 You get married and you choose this person to be your partner because you think, I mean the idea is, \u201cThey are going to make me happy.\u201d <\/p>\n
And that is the role people play, that is what they try to convince each other. The guy, \u201cOh, you should be with me, baby, I will make you happy. Look at me, I\u2019ve got my muscles. I\u2019m what you need.\u201d And she is playing her little game, \u201cOh, yes. I can cook good. I can make you happy. I\u2019ll understand you. I\u2019ll listen to you. I\u2019ll satisfy you in all the ways.\u201d \u201cOh, great, we are going to have a wonderful time together.\u201d <\/p>\n
So they get married, hearts and flowers on the limousines and the whole scene. And then after the honeymoon is over, and however long that takes (sometimes one night, sometimes one year, sometimes a few years), all this beautiful sweet wonderful love begins to diminish, diminish and ultimately becomes very bitter. And this person who was supposed to make you happy didn\u2019t and so therefore comes anger. <\/p>\n
And in the great Vedic scripture Bhagavad-gita, this is the main scripture that we study in bhakti yoga, it\u2019s described very clearly by the Supreme Lord Krishna, He says, \u201cFrom contemplation of the objects of the senses attachment develops.\u201d <\/p>\n
So here we are, we are contemplating, \u201cOh, I want to get with this person.\u201d We are contemplating the ideal person, whatever, we are contemplating our lover. \u201cFrom contemplation of the object of the senses attachment\u2026\u201d Either we are attached to a person or to the idea. Hopefully\u2026 We are hoping we can take the idea into a real person. So we get attached to the person. <\/p>\n
From attachment comes lust. Now we are in this category of lust. We call it love, \u201cOh, I thought about you, I\u2019m so attached. I love you,\u201d but really it\u2019s not, it\u2019s lust. And then, when this lust reveals its true nature, I\u2019m not satisfied and what is the next step? Anger. From lust comes anger. <\/p>\n
And that\u2019s why we are so angry. If you have ever noticed, the one you love the most is the one you hate the most.
\nHave you ever noticed that? Somebody you don\u2019t really care much about, you don\u2019t hate them that much no matter what they do, \u201cI don\u2019t like you anymore. I don\u2019t want to be around.\u201d But when you love the most is when you hate the most. You have a special vocabulary reserved specifically for them. So when you are angry, you can just cut into pieces with your words, you dig deep, to hurt them the most. And they have the same thing reserved for you. (laughs) And there it goes. And then it goes past words into beatings and all the crazy things that go on in the name of love. And then they come back again, \u201cOh, but I love you, I\u2019m sorry.\u201d(laughs) <\/p>\n
I know a girl, very attractive girl, but for some reason and I don\u2019t know why, maybe she knows, I doubt it, she was very attracted to criminals, guys that have been in jail really turned her on. And so she got involved with one guy. He gets out of jail, she gets involved with him, you know. He is a hard guy, he is not just some soft guy. And so they have their love and then they have their hate. So she leaves him and then\u2026<\/p>\n
What is the next thing she does? Gets another criminal, you know. And the same thing again. Three times she did the same thing. I asked her, \u201cWhat are you doing? You think this is a good idea?\u201d And the last guy threatened her mother like, \u201cI want to kill you. I want to kill your mother. I want to kill everybody.\u201d So she was hiding, and running. I said, \u201cThis is enough? You like the stuff?\u201d <\/p>\n
Finally, she got somebody who was, you know, quite suitable comparing to these guys and now she is a little better off. <\/p>\n
You know, this is it. We all have our little fetishes like I like criminals or I like this, or I like that. It\u2019s all about my pleasure: what am I going to get out of it? That is not love, see. Remember what love is? Giving, not taking. <\/p>\n
And it is the same thing. Parents want certain things from their children, \u201cOh, let\u2019s have these children. Let\u2019s have a child. And we will have so much pleasure from this child.\u201d But the child doesn\u2019t give the parents that much pleasure, the child grows up and leaves home. He is not interested in home life with mom and dad. He wants to be with his friends and have this whole life. And now they are like, \u201cLook, I\u2019ve raised you, I did everything for you.
\nWhat do I get back? I sent you to university, I\u2019ve paid so much money on you and you are just a bump. You never call home except when you need money.\u201d So they want something back. They are willing to put in a lot because they love the kid, but when the kid doesn\u2019t give them back what they thought they were going to get\u2026ooh, not so happy about that. <\/p>\n
Again, this is lust. I don\u2019t care what level you are take it on, whether it\u2019s between parents and children, husbands and wives, whatever. Friends, same thing. Somebody who is your friend, you get nothing from them, then \u201cWhat do I need you for? You don\u2019t offer me anything.\u201d You changed. <\/p>\n
Or the other classic thing, \u201cOh, dear John, I used to love you, but I don\u2019t love you anymore.\u201d You see, love is not cheap, love is not temporary, \u201cI love you so much. Now I don\u2019t love you anymore. I love another guy because he represents pleasure. I\u2019ve already seen what you\u2019ve got to offer me. You didn\u2019t make it. This other guy has a lot to offer so I\u2019m going with him. Bye-bye.\u201d <\/p>\n
That\u2019s why nobody wants to get married anymore because it\u2019s too complicated to get out. So it becomes a throwaway society, just get in, enjoy as long as it happens and then you can get out easy, no problem. But if you get marriage and all this legal stuff, then you get, \u201cOh man, she wants my house, she wants my car.\u201d It\u2019s too complicated. So like I said marriages are becoming more and more obsolete.<\/p>\n
But according to these true spiritual teachings, marriage is a spiritual institution. It\u2019s a spiritual institution. Marriage should be based on spiritual life. Why do you come together with another person? So you can together work as a team in your devotional life of service to God. That\u2019s a spiritual marriage. You may have disagreements but the bottom foundation of the marriage is a spiritual platform. It\u2019s not some platform of sensual pleasure that runs out, gets bitter.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
But where do we find this love? In this world in our material consciousness we don\u2019t. And that\u2019s why there is so much anger in the home. Because when you get married\u2026 Of course marriages, you know, kind of almost obsolete, but that is how it\u2019s supposed to be\u2026 You get married and you choose […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":6656,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[92],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/balakhilya.ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9101"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/balakhilya.ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/balakhilya.ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/balakhilya.ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/balakhilya.ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9101"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/balakhilya.ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9101\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9102,"href":"https:\/\/balakhilya.ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9101\/revisions\/9102"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/balakhilya.ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6656"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/balakhilya.ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9101"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/balakhilya.ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9101"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/balakhilya.ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9101"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}